


Turian Arithmetic

by Kylenne



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-23
Updated: 2012-05-23
Packaged: 2017-11-05 21:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kylenne/pseuds/Kylenne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little friendly competition never hurt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turian Arithmetic

" _Sixteen?_ "

After her evening workout, Shepard strolled into the impromptu crew lounge in Kasumi's quarters for a beer to see Garrus leaning against the bar staring incredulously at Thane, who was seated with a book by the window.

"Sixteen," Thane said, his eyes not leaving the datapad.

"But there weren't even that _many_ ," Garrus objected.

"They've been at this for about twenty minutes," Kasumi leaned over from her customary perch on the back of the chair, and muttered softly to Shepard by way of explanation. "It's kind of funny watching his mandibles twitch."

"Shepard! Just the woman I wanted to see. I was hoping you could clear up a little friendly misunderstanding for us," Garrus said, strutting towards her. "Remember that last stretch when we were in the derelict Reaper, before we got to the mass effect core?"

"Sure," she replied, taking a seat at the bar. This could only end in hilarity, and she just had to see how it would get there.

Garrus nodded, then bent down a bit conspiratorially. "Well, Krios here seems to be under the impression that he killed sixteen husks there and I only killed thirteen. But there weren't even that many husks on his side of the chokepoint. Were there?"

Thane still didn't look up from his book. "You missed several on your side." He paused, with just the faintest hint of a sly grin. "Or perhaps turian arithmetic is different."

Shepard kept her expression as deliberately deadpan as she could possibly manage, while she grabbed a beer. "Sorry boys, I wasn't really doing a headcount. I was a little busy actually killing things. You know, for the mission." 

Garrus scoffed, and took a swig from his glass. "Well, some of us have to kill things the old-fashioned way. And I killed more of the red ones. _They_ explode."

"You made good work of them even without biotics," Shepard assured him, trying her very best not to smile.

Thane's head snapped up sharply, his eyes widening in the tell-tale sign of eidetic recall. "The air is stale and reeks of decay. Footsteps echo on metal plating, piercing the eerie silence. They crawl out from beneath the edges of the platform by the dozen, lumbering towards us like eldritch locusts, their groans chilling to the bone. Shepard stands defiant atop the stairs, 'flank them!' she orders. I fall back behind cover and Garrus does the same across the platform. A husk lunges for her before she can charge away, but it falls to a single headshot from my rifle, first kill. I reach out with my hand and reduce a second to dust with a warp field. A side glance to check on my comrades. Shepard sends out shockwaves and rips them apart like rag dolls. Garrus fires with precision, exploding them to pieces. A trio emerge from his side as he reloads, I hurl them back into the abyss from which they came. I return to my assigned side. One by one we decimate them. Ten, eleven, twelve. When the last have fallen, I count sixteen bodies on the left, fourteen on the right, crumpled and twisted masses of broken metal and viscera. Rivulets of sweat trickle down her smooth mahogany skin. She wipes them from her brow. 'Good work', she congratulates us."

"...I hate when he does that," Garrus muttered into his glass.

"Shepard had thirty-five, incidentally," Thane added, glancing at her with another faint smile.

"Of course she did. She's Shep," Kasumi said.

Shepard had something else on her mind, just then. "'Smooth mahogany skin', eh?"

Thane coughed lightly and returned to his book.


End file.
